elizabethluscomb

In The Throes

"life", "marriage"Liz LuscombComment
Bubba CalculusII-Studying-1

Bubba is in the throes of his academics, and like every semester, we are exhausted, slightly bitter, and testy with each other.  We have a running countdown until his graduation, and I am the first to tell you that we cannot wait.  In fact, I have a countdown app on my phone and it says we have 1,042 days left of this craziness.  That’s a whole lot of days’.  He attends summer classes, too.  This is a year round thing for us.  

I find myself miffed about the level of self-sacrifice between Bubba and me.  Obviously I feel that my sacrifices are higher than his.  I had to ask him what he thought it was, and his conclusion was the same as mine. I suppose I sacrifice more in terms of raising kids (during the trying times of their age), convenience, sanity, and having to take over his typical “jobs” (mowing the lawn during kids naptime etc).  If I’m honest, I get a little jealous that he gets a nice a long, quiet commute to school/work seven days per week, or that he is able to get out of the house everyday while I often feel isolated, left at home without a car for hours and hours per day while he sits in class making idle conversation with people over the age of 12.  I also envy the peaceful walks he must encounter between classes.

Although we work very hard to keep our line of communication open, it has proven to be difficult.  We only have one phone so we do not speak until he is home in the evening from work/school.  And even then, as soon as he struts through the door, I’m usually off to the gym for an hour or trying to squeeze in an errand or two while he studies & watches the kids.  Our usual time for conversation is what I call after hours:  After studying for 2-3 hours, after the kids are winding down for the night with a movie, after we eat, etc.  However, usually by then, we are both finished with our day and all we want to do is sleep.  Being so tired all the time, our listening skills suffer, but at least we are trying our best!

With that being said, I don't want to undermine the burdens that Bubba carries either.  He is taking five classes.  Five, very hard classes, and I have to say that he makes it all look pretty easy, even though it’s not.  He pulls it all off though; going to school full time and then waking up on the weekends at 3:30 in the morning to head off to a physically demanding job for eleven hours per day.  He rarely complains which is better than I can say for myself.  He always tries to come home as quickly as he can, get done with homework as fast as possible, and then help me with the kids so that I can take a rest.  Trust me, his efforts have not gone unnoticed!    

We do our best in supporting and helping each other out.  It’s just that the path we’ve chosen is not the easiest one to go down.  Ha!  But hey, that’s life right?

I know that once this is all over and put behind us, we’ll come out on the other side a little stronger, a little wiser, and eventually it will all become a memory of life that was well worth the B.S.   And I’m sure I’ll roll my eyes a couple of years from now when I read this post.  Ha!

Until that moment in time arrives, I’ll be counting down the days till this madness is over with.

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CalculusII-1