I had written this very long soliloquy inside my mind that was intended to be posted here, but with each passing day, I put it off to the side and mulled on it instead. Now, here I am, two days past the actual day I wanted to reference to begin with. A writer’s procrastination; Nothing new.
This is sounding like a much bigger deal than it really is, so I’ll just state what has been on my mind this month. You see, November 10, 2010, my first novel was published. I signed a three year contract with a small publishing company who had accepted my query letter & manuscript. It was a thrilling day, full of possibilities in the future. It was the beginning of my writing…career? endeavor? Whichever.
But, if you did the simple math, then you may have already assumed that the book, is no longer being published. In that case, your assumptions are correct.
For the last few months, I’ve wondered what I should do now. Do I write another book? Should I spruce up Forgetting Susan, and attempt to have it published by one of the big six publishing companies? The process of finding a literary agent again…I don’t want to even think about it. Literary agents should be outlawed. That’s all I have to say about it.
I have a lot I want to say about this book. Like how I never really wanted to promote it. Maybe it is the writer in me, but after I sat down and tried re-reading my own book after it was published, I became mortified. I wanted to change or omit something from every page. I wanted to take the book and lock it away in the attic for safe keeping from the public. I think the story itself is good, it is my writing that makes me shudder!! Practice, practice, practice. I should have practiced my writing skills more before I attempted to write a book…or at least before trying to have it published. I have no idea how it managed to become published, but I figure it is just want God wanted for me at the time!
So. What should I do? My husband still thinks this book is awesome, (thanks babe) and wants me to pursue it further. I just don’t know if I have it in me. Building an audience is hard, and I don’t have the extra dollars right now to put my name out there. Know what I mean?
Okay. Even with all that I’ve said, I will be joining eleven other local authors at the county library to showcase/sell our books, and engage with the public. Even though my book is no longer being published, I still have a lot of promo books on hand that can either be sold or given away. I haven’t decided yet. I think I should give them away, but that is just my nature. My husband says, sell! We’ll see.
Thanks for listening!